Speak Up!

Yesterday, I received a certification of participation that I am quite proud of!

Yeah! I took part in a preaching contest in my church!

Basically I had to stand in front of an open hall and speak to the crowds. To be honest, I do not really like to talk in front of a large crowd (very few people like to).

In fact, when I used to be a shy person. I barely talked and preferred listening than talking. Some of the shyness was because I had low self esteem and was not confident in sharing my thoughts. I felt they were not good enough and people were not interested.

I remembered I was so shy that once I waited at the bus stop for 15-20 minutes with a class-mate and did not even spoke to him. He was so frustrated that he asked me out in exasperation : “Why are you so quiet!” Btw, he was 1 of the most patient person I know and yet I wore him down. =( But

Thank God that I have changed over the last few years. With the encouragements of friends and mentors, I start to grow in confidence about myself and see the VALUE that is in me.

Though I may not be talented in certain areas compared to some of my friends, I do have unique talents =) At the same time, I am SPECIAL just like everyone around me!

Hope this encourages you to speak up and share your inner worlds with people! Btw, the organizer had made a U-tube of my sermon (they did it for all contestants). But I am not going to tell you where is it. =) Have fun searching for it!

World without Strangers!

In my previous entry, I wrote that someone wanted to add me in his or her "Love Happens" network.

A thought came to my mind. Why someone would wants to put me in his or her list of friends when both of us are total strangers? I did not put my picture and particulars in my profile.

That is when I realise that I am truly in a different generation. =) I am OLDbie!

People nowadays are so comfortable in using such online social network to meet people from all over the world and even to find boyfriends and girlfriends. It is a WOLRD WITHOUT BOUNDARIES AND STRANGERS!

Well, this OLDbie still has some advice for the YOUNG ONES out there.

We should celebrate the wonders of internet and the power given to all of us to touch base with the world at the touch of a finger on our computer.

Yet we should still exercise caution for with great power comes great responsibility. If we are not responsible, we would be hurt by this power. We need to be wise in handling online "friends". Do not judge a book by its cover but instead read through it and digest its content. For we cannot never know the true nature of someone by just their looks, messages or photos.

You can go read what one of my friends had written in her blog regarding "online" encounters :
http://kermitkhoo.blogspot.com/2006/10/days-are-evil-2.html

Love Happens!

Was busy this week. Did not have time to do a good reflection =(

But during the week, I received an interesting email.

Someone emailed an invitation to join "Love Happens!" It is a social network website where you can meet and date people. It is like Friendster.

Hopefully through it, you can find a boyfriend or girlfriend. =)

Just for curosity sake (hmm do not think I am desparate), I signed up for it. After that I forgot about it.

Guess what? A few days later, I received a invitation for someone (whom I do not know)) who wants to add me to his or her network of friends!

In my heart, I was delighted that a total stranger would like to know me better. =) It was a good feeling. So I click on the link so that I could go the the website and add my new forund FREIND

But gues what!!! I forgot my password! Could not log in =(

There goes my new found friend! Haha

The Key To be Free!

This is the conclusion article for my 2 previous entries on RenJie’s story (Part 1, Part 2, Locking Me Up).

In my previous blog “Locking Me Up” I wrote that some of us are trapped in the prisons of our hearts because we find it difficult to forgive the people that had hurts or disappointed us. As a result, we may find ourselves holding a grudge against them and we have no freedom at all.

The key to unlock the doors of this prison of UNFORGIVNESS is simply FORGIVENESS!

For me personally, when I feel that someone has let me down or huts me, I try to forgive him or her by
a) Asking myself why did this person do such a thing?
I put myself in the shoes of this person and try to see from his point of view. Though the person behaviour or action may be wrong, there may be circumstances that force him to react like that. That helps me understand his situation better and let go of the burden in my heart towards him.

b) Reminding myself that no one is perfect.
By putting myself in the shoes of the person, I also realize that I may do even worse thing than him. At the same time, I also remind myself that I have done wrongs to others in the past. The people that I have hurt and disappointed have forgiven me for my mistakes. Hence, if they can forgive me, shouldn’t I do the same to others?

I end my entry today by sharing a great story of forgiveness that I had seen on a documentary. The father of a man was shot dead by a thief when he was a young boy. His dad was robbed of his life for only a few dollars! In the end, the thief was caught and sentenced to life imprisonment. Life was not easy for the man without his dad around. He missed his dad tremendously.

What could the man have done? He could cursed God for taking his dad away. He could have hated the thief for killing his loved one. Yet the man did a great act of forgiveness. One day, he went to visit the thief in prison and release forgiveness to him. At the same time, he even petitioned for the early release of the thief. In the end, the thief was released from prison!

Guess what? The man in his act of forgiveness not only set the thief free from his physical prison but also from the prison of his heart as he was guilt-ridden of killing an innocent man. At the same time, the man had set himself free from the emotional pain of losing a dad.

Be Free by forgiving!

Where am I heading?

.

I had not been to blog recently because I was busy with work. In fact, it seemed that I had been quite busy for the past few weeks.

Yesterday, I was at a gathering when my mentor asked us this question,” Do you know where you are heading?" He mentioned that we can be so busy and we are just doing and doing without considering where we are heading.

It is like running or driving very fast. You are only focusing on following the road and maneuvering its turn so much so that you do not have time to think of where you are going. Before you know it, you reach the destination and realize that it is not where you want to be. But by then, it may be possible to backtrack or make a U-turn!

In our fast paced society, it is inevitable that we are all busy. But we cannot accept that and just run the rat race because everyone is running it. Well, even if you win the rat race, you still a rat.

So what is the best way to run this race? My mentor advised us to LOOK FAR. We need to look far ahead and ask ourselves what are the meaningful and purpose dreams we hope to see becoming a reality in the future. With this end in mind, we can set short terms and intermediate mile-stones so that we know that even in the midst of doing the routine and mundane things, we are still going towards the right direction and in the process of achieving our dreams.

Even as I reflected upon this question of where I am heading, I realized that I do have to be mindful and slow down periodically to take bearings of where I am heading. Therefore, I am taking some time off this week to plan what I want do for the last 3 months of the year in order to finish this year off still focused on the dreams I have set at the beginning of the year..

Talk Back Good =) Talk Bad Bad =(

In my blog entry Locking Me Up, I wrote that we can find ourselves trapped and locked up in the "prisons" of our hearts when we have unresolved issues with people (E.g. Anger / Disappointment / Bitterness ).

Someone added a comment after reading my entry.

Anonymous said...
i guess the feelings of disappointment/anger/resentment are even stronger especially when they are towards ppl you hold dear to your heart.. and it may take a long and slow process to unlock our hearts from that prison.

Hehe, it is good to know that someone do read your blog and you are not writing for yourself to see. Thanks Anonymous! That is why i always enjoy adding comments to blog entries of my freinds. They have shared their thoughts and I will to share mine too. =)

So do feel free to TALK BACK to me by adding comment to my entries. Thanks! But of cos, do not TALK BAD. I do not mind constructive criticism but do avoid destructive ones! Build me up and not tear me down =)

Well, here my my reply:

Yeah. There is a fine line between love and hate. The person whom u love the most is also the person that can hurt you the most. You are disappointed that your trust and love are misplaced. =( But I guess the way to learn to forgive someone is to 1st realise that all of us had and will make mistakes and need forgiveness. We can forgive someone becos we 1st receive forgiveness from other people.

Maths made me cry!

Was talking to one of my students over MSN just now. She said something that shocked me....

Me : How is your exam? Confident?

Student : Sld be ok.. except Maths

Me : Oh why??

Student : It was tough. Some of us cried after the paper.

I was shocked to hear Sec 2 students crying over the Maths final year examinations. I have heard of students crying over their PSLE, O levels and A levels. To a certain extent, I can understand why they cried over these major exams.

But to cry for a Maths Sec 2 exams, this just blew my mind off. To me, final examinations are important but we take it once every year. And by the time we are in secondary school, we should be veterans in taking exams. Therefore, we should be pro in handling exams. We should not be crying over exams.

On 2nd thought, we cry in sorrow at times when we feel lost over something or someone. This thing or person must hold special and important significance to us. The thought or feeling of losing the thing or the person makes us feel hopeless and powerless. Also, we may cry because the efforts we made have not paid off or are not appreciated.

For the students to cry over their Maths paper, it may be because they may have worked hard for it and were upset that that their hard word was not paying off. Or they may think that this Math exams is quite important and were upset that they are not doing to do well.

As a X-Maths teacher, I am quite happy to see the students taking such serious attitude towards their Maths exam. Shows that they are keen in their study.

As a mentor of life, I hope they can also learn from this set-back and grow in character. In life, we will surely meet obstacles and failures. After the tears and feeling low, we need to examine where we go wrong and make efforts to overcome them. i.e We need to learn from our mistakes so that we can build upon it to achieve success.

I do hope that the students will learn from this exam and be growing not just in their knowledge of Maths but also in their attitude towards life!

Locking Me Up!

My previous 2 entries (Part 1 & Part 2) was on RenJie - a prison inmate who had not went home for 12 long years =(

I was saddened when I read about RenJie's tore relationship with his family. Because of his broken promise to his parents to turn over a new leaf, his Dad quarreled with him. In his anger, RenJie stormed out of the house and decided never to return. In his own words,

心里狠狠想，你们不要我，我就堕落给你们看

In the end, because of unresolved anger and disappointment and anger, RenJie and his parents were separated for the last 12 years.

A thought came to my mind even as I ponder on his story :
RenJie is serving out his sentence in a physical prison because of his mistakes in life. Similarly, we may also be trap in “prison” in our hearts because of unresolved issues (e.g. anger, bitterness, disappointment) with people in our lives.

As a result, just as the walls of a real prison separate the inmates from the outside world and restrict their freedom, this emotional prison separates us from the people we have issues with. We also find ourselves having no freedom whenever we are around the persons.

Personally, I myself had been “imprisoned” before when I felt let down by people and my expectations were not met.

• Emotionally, I could be angry or disappointed with them.
• In my mind, I will be thinking in frustration,” How could he or she act or think like that?”
• A wall starts to be built up between them and me.
• When the persons are around, I will feel uncomfortable as seeing them will ignite the negative emotions.
• Worse still, every small thing they do or say will somehow make me feel uncomfortable and at times I will find unnecessary faults in their actions or words. I could also be harsh with them, either in thoughts or in words.
• After a while, I find myself avoiding them because I either could not stand the sight of them or I do not want the “ugly” self in me to surface.
  

Before I know it, I find myself serving my sentence in my prison of the heart! =(

The question we should be asking ourselves is this (the same question all inmates like to ask) : How can we break free from free from this heart prison?

Well, in my next entry, I will share with you the keys to open the door to this prison so that we can be set free!

Part 2 : For 12 years, I did not go home.

A continuation of the story of RenJie (Part 1 was my previous entry).

A family lost. Another found.
For the last 12 years, RenJie lost contact with his family. Since his most recent imprisonment, none of his family members had ever visited him for the past 4 years,

Yet during these times, he lost a family and found another. The prison wardens and counsellors became his family and cared and loved him. The care and concern shown by the prison wardens and counsellors encouraged RenJie to move on from his past, leave it behind and work towards his future.

“你相信我能够改变.”
In June this year, a song writing competition was organized by the Prison Department. RenJie took part and wrote a song about his life. His song won the first prize! At a special concert, Renjie was given a chance to perform before the rest of the participants and their family members.

坐在铁窗后凝视, 只加深伤悲。

但心里真的好累，错过无数次机会。爱我的人心已碎。。。。
。。。。你相信我能够改变，相信这次不会食言，

不会只是再用话语来回应，因为你相信．

The words of the song were an expression of RenJie's gratefulness to the trust the wardens and counsellors had shown him. At the same time, he was using it to seek the forgiveness from his parents. Sadly, the whole hall was filled with friends and relatives of the inmates except his....

For 12 years, I did not go home.

Had not been blogging for a while because of was busy at work. =( But I intend to revive my blog again.

Recently, I read a very sad story in the newspaper. In the article, there was an interview of a prison inmate which touched me greatly. RenJie is 30 years old now and is currently serving his sentence for drug abuse. Here is part one of his story :

When he was young……
RenJie was caught for house-breaking and was sent to Boys' Home for 3 years. While in Boys’ Home, he promised his parents that he would turn over a new leaf.

“Since you do not want me, I will forsake you all!”
However, RenJie got in contact with his old friends when he came out and got back to his old ways. The parents were disappointed. One day, he got into a quarrel with his Dad and was chased out of his house. He angrily took some money and clothes and left. His mum did not stop him from leaving. In his mind, he was thinking,” Since you do not want me, I will forsake you all!”

For the past 12 years, he had not ever step into his home. Since then, had had either been seeking shelter at friends’ houses or in out and of prison.

“Even the worst of my friends had a home to turn to”
Whenever RenJie thinks about his home-less state, he would felt a pain in the heart.

The pain came especially more during festive seasons. “During Chinese New Year, even the worst of my friends had a home to go back for reunion dinner. I had no home to go back to and sat alone in coffeeshop.”

In 2002, he was caught by police and bought back to his home by the police. He got a shock…. A new family was staying at his place. His parents had sold the house and moved out.

Since then, he had been in prison and for the last 4 years, none of his family members had ever visited him.

I was touched when I read the part that RenJie commented that even the worst of his friends had a home to return to while he was left alone during CNY. He must have regretted the rash words he spoken to his parents when he was young and emotional.

It caused me reflect on 2 things :
a) Be slow to anger and speak while quick to listen
I need to be careful with my words and actions so that I will not say or do something I regret. Actually I realise that I can be very strong in my words when I strongly believe in some things. Therefore, I can come forth as rude and demanding at times. May I learn to season my words with grace and humility.

b) Never wait too long to say Sorry
I realize that the best time to say sorry is NOW. If you wait and wait, the negative feelings (eg bitterness, anger, rage) may cripple you and eat you up in your heart. The relationship with the other person may also dive to a point of no return.

I will write part 2 of RenJie's story on my next entry.

THANKS FOR THE SWEET MEMORIES 1I

1I, sorry for the late posting =(

Anyway, just want to say thanks for

the sweet memories in teaching your class!

All the best for the coming exams!

Remember that it is not the result that matters at times

but whether you have given your best!

Give your best in all that you do so that you can fulfill your true potential!

God bless U!

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1A THUMBS UP

1A THUMBS UP

Here are some of the creative Thumb art designs done up by 1A

Sorry I could not add in very one of your design. =)

Just want to encourage each of you that you have a creative spirit in you.

I am truly blessed by your wonderful art pieces!

Therefore, continue to bless others with your creativeness!

I need help!

I NEED HELP!!!!

In our lessons on cyber-wellness, we will teach the youths to be careful when they chat with people online. Do not be sweet-talked by their online "friends" and make themselves vulnerable physcially and emotionally.

Personally, I find that when we are in our teenage years, we are in a period of discovering who we are: our identify, talents, strengths and weaknesses. During this period of seeking, we are receptive to new ideas and people.

Friends to us are important as we feel that they are an important part of our identify. More friends you have means you are popular. Peer acceptance is very important. Yet out of it will come negative peer pressure when we just blindly follow the crowd.

At the same time, we no longer just take and accept whole-sale the values that our parents or teachers have taught us.

We are testing them out and at times may even "discard" the values taught as we feel that they are no longer relevant to us in this new generation. We want to have the freedom to make our own decisions and to run our own lives. Conflicts with authourity figures (parents and teachers) become common.

I think it is always good to be balance during this roller-coaster ride of self-discovery . During the HIGHS, we may feel ourselves going overboard and enjoying the freedom and forgetting the responsibility.

During the LOWS, we may feel confused, insecure or vulnerable. Mistakes are made and failures are encountered.

A wonderful way to help us strike balance is to have MENTORS around us to guide us.

MENTORS are more than friends! They are our coaches!

Like friends, mentors encourage us when we are down and appreciate us for just being who we are.

Yet they are more than friends. They are willingly to speak the truth into our lives and point out the weaknesses we have even though this may make us unpopular with us. Yet they do not criticize us to cut us down. They speak the truth in love in the hope that we will be build up through our failures to become the man or woman we should be and achieve our full potential.

MENTORS understand us ! They have been through it before!
In fact, they understand what we are going through because

they have walked the same journey before us. They are our pace-setter. They will share their secrets of their success so that we will be more successful! They will also share their past failures with us openly so that we can learn from their mistakes and avoid making the same ones.

Guess what. We do not just need mentors during the teenage years. We need them for life : to guide us through our JC, poly or university days, army daze, love of our life, career, wedding, marriage and father-hood or mother-hood.

What to do?

Are you encouraged by me and you want to find a mentor? Let me teach you 2 simple steps:

Step 1: I want to be help!

We cannot be helped until we want to be help.

Therefore, the 1st step to admit that we need help.

Step 2: I want U!

Go and look for a mentor. Start a Treasure hunt around your life now.

There are people around you that will make wonderful mentors.

Eg.. Parents, teachers, CCA seniors and the list go on.

Hope you take these 2 simple steps and

enter into a wonderful time of discovering who U R

together with your mentors!

OLE! OLE! OLE! 1A

OLE! OLE! OLE! 1A
Long overdue thanksgiving to 1A!
Thanks for your joy and love during the lessons!
Always look forward to teaching your class.
Remember 3b message : U R Precious!
Know that each of U are unique & special!
Work with your parents and teachers to discover who u R!

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Treasure Hunt!

TREASURE HUNT

Life can have its unexpected ups and downs.
We must treasure every moment of our lives as if it is the last.
We must treasure people in our lives for we may not know what tommorow may hold.

I just came back from a company camp and got a shocking news. One of my Sec 1 students died suddenly last Thursday. This got me into thinking about treasuring people around us. We may complain about them or take them for granted.

Recently, I heard someone asks me this question :How do I treat the people around me? Do I treat them as

1. Background people

We do not know them and they are faces in the crowd

2. Function people

We only talk to them when they have perform a function on us. Eg. bus driver or teacher.

3. Relation people

We are interested to know them and want to build meaningful relationship with them.

Honestly, I find that I can be a very functional person and has a tendacy to relate to people because there is a task or job to do. There are also times when I get so focused on the task at hand that I do not consider the feelings of people. Though the job may be completed successfully, the people around me may not feel appreciated.

Therefore, it will be good for me to constantly remind myself to see every person that I come across as unique & special and learn to relate to them as a person rather than ignore them or treat them as tools to be used.

Let go on a TREASURE HUNT for the whole of next week!

=> Think of a person we are always in contact with. Eg Parents, teachers or classmates, colleagues.

=> Make effort to get to know him or her beyond just a face you see daily or beyond the role he or she play in our lives.

=> Discover and be enriched by the hidden treasures that are in his or her life!

GIFTS FOR TEACHERS ON TEACHERS' DAY

Today is 1 September and we celebrate it as Teachers' Day! Therefore, here wishing all the teachers out there a Happy Teachers' Day!

What was the gift you gave to your teachers?

In the morning, I attended a National Christian Teachers' Conference and the speakers was really inspiring! One of them shared that as teachers, we are to be CARING PEOPLE and if he could give gifts to the teachers at the conference, he will give these :

Teachers use a band-aid to heal the hurts and pain of their students so that they can stand up once again in confidence and trust.

Teachers can also use the tissues to wipe the tears and provide comfort to the students whenever they are overwhelmed by adverse situations.

Teachers can use the eraser to "erase" our students' mistakes from the records in our hearts and forgive them readily. Love is patient and keeps no record of wrong.

Teachers can use this to add colours to our students' lives and work together with them to paint a master-piece out of their lives!

Think of a teacher or mentor who has impacted your life.

What gift would you bless him or her with as a thanksgiving for his or her impact in your life?

Share your thanksgiving to them in by

adding yr comments to this entry =)

Thank You Class 1E

Thank You Class IE

Hi, Class IE. Sorry I took a while to upload your phots on my blog. Hope you all are doing fine. I enjoyed teaching your class. Hopefully, you also enjoyed my teaching =) Though I have scolded you a few times, I do hope you understand that I was trying to let you see the importance of listening and following instructions. Do remember the Cyber-wellness messages we taught you. Make it a life-style and more importantly pass them on to your friends!

On a side note, someone commented that the class was quite fearful of me.

On reflection, I realise that I look quite stern if I do not smile (look at the photo above).

I also find that I can be quite stern whenever the students get rowdy and do not listen and instruction during lessons. One of my X-students even jokingly called me the TERROR of Bukit Merah =) as I disciplined them firmly whenever they did not obey the rules repeatedly (I used to teach at a community school in Bukit Merah).

Why am I so firm in class? As teacher, I am the authourity figure. My role is to set and enforce a proper boundary so that the students know know what are the acceptable behaviours and what are not. By doing so, we can then have a proper environment to study where learning can take place.

Of course, sometimes we feel that the rules are too strict and tight. But we must understand that having 40 students in one class means there are 40 different people with different needs and expectation. They will also behave differently at different times under different moods. It is impossible to have rules to satisfy the needs and personalities of all 40 students. Therefore, it is easily for a standard and general set of rules so that all 40 students can work towards aligning to rather.

But I must admit that there are times when I have reacted sternly out of anger and and become unreasonable or have not shown grace when it is to be shown. =( Guess I am still a human and learning to be a teacher. That is why I am always reflecting on the classes I taught and the way handle my class to improve!

Dream Weaver

Dream Weaver Part 1

I am currently teaching a lesson where the main teaching point is :

Stay focus on your DREAM! Do not be addicted to internet.

I told the students that dreams are very important as it keeps us focused and give us direction. Even as I was pondering, I started to remember some of the dreams I had in the past and the reaons I had for them.

When I was in primary school, my dream was to be a scientist. Becuase I like to watch science fiction cartoons. One of my fav was TRANSFORMERS. I was excited by the advance weapons and the state of the art technology. I got inspired to become a scientist to come up with new creations.

When I was in secondary school, I grew out of that dream and become more practical. I wanted to be a engineer. My family was poor. Somehow I got this notion that there always be be jobs for an enginner. Therefore, I can always find a job to support my family and my family.

Why are dreams so important? I thank God that I had dreams when I was young. They kept me hopeful for my future and excited about life has to offer me years ahead.

Life is not a bed of roses. There are times when we may face difficulites or go through problems. During these times, our dreams can help us stayed focused and perserve on during the tough times.

I remember the dream of being an engineer kept me focused and I studied diligently even though there was distractions and hardship along the way. In the end, I fulfilled my dream and graduated with 2nd Class Honours in Electrical Engineering from National University of Singapore.

The funny things is that in the end, I did not become a Enginner. I beame a teacher.

That was another of my dream that was birthed forth in times of crisis. I will share more in next entry =)

So my friend, go and dream a dream for yourself!

SMILE!!! You are the real MAGIC!!!

SMILE!!! You are the real MAGIC!!!

I just finished Project CRuSH with a class at a school and as part of the last lesson we will take a class photo.

Class 1U :
Thanks God for all of you! You are all very special!!!
Each of you had blessed me with your smile, care and love!
You are the REAL MAGIC!So continue to being a SMILE to people around u!

I really enjoyed teaching this class becos they bring so much joy, laughter and fun to me whenever I stepped into their class =)

But guess what, when I first taught them, I shouted at them becos they were too noisy and took a long time to settle down. =( Can say things do not start on the right foot. But I reflected and aplogised to them for shouting at them. Yet I told them I have to becos they were all quite noisy and did not follow instructions. That broke the ice and from then on, we have been on good terms!

Well, when we have misunderstanding or conflicts with others, it is always easier to insists on our stand or to get upsets and become negative. Problems are not solved. In fact, they will gett bigger.

Why don't we just take the 1st step to think of what we are responsible for and apologise. That will break the ice and make the other party steps down and apologise for his or her part.

Remember in all of us lies the MAGIC to bring a =)!
Let the MAGIC begins!

Staring Incident => eye ball to eye ball

Staring Incident 0-0 <=> 0-0

Few days ago, I was walking around this long corridor..........

I had just finished my lunch and was just thinking of something. And as near the end of the corridor......

Suddenly, I got a SHOCK of my life!!!!!! A man was staring at me!!!!!!

After recovering from the shock, I went to take a closer look =) Guess what??? It was just a figurine... Haha look quite scary rite =)